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Friday, October 28, 2011

Thoughts On Motherhood

 My name is Salena and I have been married to Rudy for 14-1/2 years.  I'm a mother of six and a grandmother of three.  I am a stay-at-home mommy to my three little girls and they keep me very busy.  I was born and raised on Oahu, Hawaii and I have lived here all my life.

I have been a mother for 26 years.  I say 26 years because I believe we are mothers before we even know our babies are growing inside us. 

I am mommy to:

Ashley (25)
Kapono (23)
Saphire (22)
Aleshanee (6)
Dakota (3)
Hayden (2)

I am grandmother to:
Makana (3)
Aaliyah (2)
Kaenen (2).

I have been a
Teenage mother
Single mother

Mother of...
baby angel in heaven
Every stage through adulthood
TEENAGERS with raging HORMONES!!!!!
drama queen
special needs child
movie star

I am also a mother-in-law and a grandmother.

If I missed anything, I know my kids will read this and set me straight.  =)

You may be surprised to know, when I was a little girl, I NEVER wanted to have kids.  Shocking I know.  I am one that cannot stand pain and I knew I would never be able to go through childbirth.

When I was 15 I found out I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, Ashley.  In all the shock, fear (of my parents), and being disappointed in myself, the one thing I knew is I wanted to keep my baby.  There was not even a hint of doing anything otherwise.  I had my son, Kapono when I was 18 and then my daughter, Saphire at 19.  

Many years in between 16 to be exact
5 years of unexplained secondary infertility
Fertility procedures
Fertility drugs and injections

And a heart breaking missed miscarriage (you can read about it more here) and all that goes along with that we were finally blessed with our daughter, Aleshanee

Then, to our total shock we were eventually blessed with our daughters, Dakota and then Hayden.

All of this, wrapped up in 26 years this December looking back at it all there are some days I wonder how I got here.  When I read this back I am amazed to see how much I have changed, how much God has entrusted me with and how much I am blessed.

People ask me advice all the time and assume I know everything about parenting.  They tell me that I must be a pro at this because I have so many kids and have been a mother for so long.

Here are some things I can share with you
Each child is different
They have a mind of their own
They have different needs and sometimes it happens all at the same time
They need to experience life, good and bad
They cannot be controlled
They need your undivided attention
They need to be heard
They need to be understood
They need for you to be fair to them
They need your protection
They need to feel loved and they need you to express it with words, by physical touch, and by your actions
They need to know you are proud of them
They need your support
They need to know you believe in them

One thing I know for sure we are here for a purpose.  As parents, we want to protect our children.  Naturally we don’t want them to get hurt.  I’m learning that we are to guide them in the right direction but ultimately God is using them for a bigger purpose.  With my older kids, I tried to control their environment and protect them from everything that seemed harmful.  I mean, it seems only natural that a mother would do this.  My kids did not benefit from being protected in that way.  I didn’t step back and allow God to work in their lives in His way.  Don’t get me wrong I believe that HE prevails no matter what I do.  I do however know that I need to do things differently with my younger 3 and ultimately with all of them, including my grandchildren in the future.

I must constantly remind myself that they are here for a greater purpose.  To step back and let them find what it is they are here for.  To trust that the things they are going through, the choices and mistakes they make all lead to God molding them to where they need to be.  When I have this understanding, I am better equipped to love them, believe in them and to support them in their Journey.

What about you?  If you are a mother, what do you know for sure?  Are there changes you need to make?

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Brit @ JandMs Eye Candy said...

Lovely post! I have been following you for a while, but it was nice to get to know you a little better ;) Stopping by from the blog hop! Have a great weekend.

Nicole [The Lovely Poppy] said...

thanks for sharing, i'm stopping by from follower fest, i'd love for you to stop by my blog and checkout the huge giveaway going on- http://thelovelypoppy.blogspot.com/2011/10/blog-follower-giveaway.html xoxo nicole

Mom Does Reviews said...

Happy Birthday, Salena! Stopping by from MBS to get to know you better. What a great post. I love being a mom, but I only have 1~
I am following you on GFC, FB and Twitter.
pam from www.momdoesreviews.com

Lil' Woman said...

Your family is beautiful!!
I have family that lives in Oahu, I can't wait to visit again : )

The Every Day Extraordinary said...

Your family is so beautiful! We are planning a trip somewhere in Hawaii to celebrate ten years of marriage in April--I love the layout and flow of your blog. Beautiful!

Nicole {Miss Mommy} said...

I love this post Salena :). You are so amazing :)

Maria said...

hi salena...i just found you through ashley's blog. so glad i did. what a beautiful, truthful and ispiring post. and what an amazing mother and woman you are. your family is gorgeous and i love your photos.
reading this post really hit home in many ways.
thank you so much for sharing. i look forward to following your amazing journey <3

Dawn said...

This is so touching.

Stopping by from Soleil Solene.:)